


Too Late

by RosieRue



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 5+1 Things, Complete, DeanCas - Freeform, Firstkiss, M/M, Sadending, Season15, casdean - Freeform, characterdeath, deanpiningaftercaslikeusualy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 11:33:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29471001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RosieRue/pseuds/RosieRue
Summary: 5 times Dean wanted to kiss Castiel and the one time he did.Spoilers, especially for Season 15.Complete
Relationships: Destiel
Kudos: 14





	1. The Angel Tablet

**Author's Note:**

> Supernatural and the characters of Supernatural do not belong to me. It all belongs to the wonderful creators and writers of CW who have destroyed my social life.

..............................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

*HIT* I was on my knees trying to snap Cas out of whatever was going on with him.  
“Fight this Cas.” *PUNCH* I knew it wasn’t him. *SMACK* I knew there was something wrong.  
“You want it? Take it, but you’re going to have to kill me first. Come on you coward. Do it. Do it!” I yelled. 

Cas continued to hit me, but I could sense that he was coming through. He seemed confused and kept repeating the name Naomi. I took a chance. 

“Cas, Cas. I know you’re in there, I know you can hear me Cas.” I’m getting desperate at this point and I wish I didn’t sound so pathetic.  
“It’s me Cas, we’re family. We need you” I hesitate before saying the next thing that pops into my head, but its 100% true.  
“I need you. Cas. Cas.” I’m all but begging for him to still be there. I’m all but praying that my best friend can hear me. 

He holds his angel blade above us both and yet the swing doesn’t come. He’s stopped entirely. A sharp clatter of metal against stone tells me he’s dropped the blade and he reaches for the angel tablet. A blinding white light and Cas is back to staring at me. He leans down slowly, and I can’t help but flinch away from his hands. All my cuts and bruises have been healed. 

“I’m so sorry Dean” he mutters. 

“What the hell just happened” I ask bewildered. I’m thrilled that he’s back of course, but I have to understand what just went down a few minutes ago. Cas helps me up from the ground and begins to explain. 

“Naomi has been controlling you since you got out of purgatory?” I ask. He confirms my question. 

“Well, what the hell broke the connection?” For a minute I look into his eyes and I can see understanding, I can see kindness and for one minute, I think I can see love. It scares the crap out of me and yet it doesn’t. Without thinking I step forward slightly and grasp Cas’s shoulder.  
I suddenly realise that Cas has started talking again. Too late, I think. I was too late.


	2. Army

“Don’t lose it over one man, this is justice.” Hannah proclaims.  
I look towards Cas as he deliberates over Hannah’s words. We lock eyes and there’s a speck of doubt in my mind about what Castiel would do. Of course, he would pick his army, he’s worked so hard and I’m just one human. 

“No, I can’t” 

I almost do a double take as Cas utters those words. Relief floods my mind as the angels back away from all of us. I keep my eyes on Cas. 

Whilst driving baby I know I need to have a proper chat with him about everything. He must be feeling like shit especially with his grace running out and angels turning themselves into bombs in the name of him.  
I make sure Sam isn’t around when approaching Cas in the bunker. Some things are better left kept between us two. 

“Low on batteries huh?”  
“I’m fine.”  
“No you’re not. How long you got?”  
“Long enough to destroy Metatron, but without an army…”  
“You still got us” I justify. He looks so tired and ill. It’s times like these where I remember that he’s an all-powerful angel who’s been alive since the dawn of time. Dude must be exhausted. It doesn’t help that his grace is running out either. 

“Dean, those bombers, you don’t think…that I…” How could he even think that I would think that of him. I quickly cut him off.  
“Cas you just gave up an entire army for one guy. No, there’s no way you’d blow those people away” 

I get up and walk around the table to sit in the chair next to him. I reaffirm what I just said whilst looking directly into his eyes, so he knows exactly where we stand. It hits me then that Cas just gave up his army for me. For me? Why for me?  
We’re still gazing at each other. You know how much I hate chick flicks, but if there was ever a moment too lean in and kiss, it would be now. Just as I’ve made up my mind Sammy has to come bumbling in like the tall giraffe he is. I mean I know that all three of us are tall, but that dude is a freak of nature and he doesn’t know how to use his limbs properly. Case in point when he trips into the empty chair I left. 

Leaning back and taking another swig of my beer, I realise again that I was too late.


	3. Mom-blocker

As I walk down the stairs of the bunker with my Mom, I explain what this place is. We get to the bottom of the staircase and there’s blood on the floor. Alarm bells immediately go off in my head. Sam? Cas? Oh Chuck, I hope they’re okay.  
I load my gun and pass an extra one to my Mom, she knows how to handle herself. I walk down one of the many corridors of the bunker in search of someone familiar. 

I’d been checking each room for a bit when I hear voices where I left Mom. I walk into the sight of Mom pointing the gun at Cas. I know he’s an angel, but some of my protectiveness comes out a bit when I see that. 

“Woah, Woah, Woah”, I exclaim. “It’s okay, he’s a friend” I assure her and gesture for her to lower the gun. 

I turn towards Cas and I’m embraced before I have a chance. 

“Hey Cas”, I breathe into his shoulder. 

“Dean!” This feels really nice. It feels right being in his arms. I just want to stay here a bit longer, but Cas is pulling away from me already. 

“Dean, you’re alive?” he asks.  
A faint ‘yeah’ is all he gets for a reply. It’s amazing to see him again. I quickly stand fully in front of him as I don’t want to be interrupted once more. As I’m taking a hold of his shoulder my Mom asks a question. 

Of course, that was bound to happen, she must be so confused. In hindsight it wouldn’t have been the best to kiss Cas right there and then in front of my mom no less. That would be even more confusing for her and for Cas. 

Late again Winchester.


	4. Back from the dead

I can’t believe it. I honestly can’t believe it. I don’t want to get my hopes up, but it’s Cas. It’s got to be. If it’s not I might just die. Sounds dramatic I know, but I didn’t get to say goodbye. I didn’t get to do anything before he was brutally taken away from me. From all of us, and by his own brother no less. Although you can’t expect much brotherly love when your brother is the Devil himself. 

Sam and I get out of the car and there he is. Standing in all his glory, trench coat and all, by the phone box as if he hadn’t been stabbed through the chest. 

“Cas is that really you”, I’m still in disbelief. 

“No, you’re dead”, Sam says. 

“Yeah, I was, but then I annoyed an ancient cosmic being so much that he sent me back”

Okay, he just annoyed an ancient cosmic being, that’s not the freakiest thing I’ve heard. What else would have happened. I’m still in a state of shock, but it’s slowly waring off.  
My head’s going, ‘It’s Cas man, it’s Cas. Why are you still standing there like some idjit. Go to him’ and yet my body doesn’t want to move from its spot.

“I don’t even know what to say”, Sam says softly. That’s the perfect opening for me. 

“I do” I say, and I give him one of the tightest hugs I’ve ever given him. Moving backwards slightly I give him a friendly slap on the back and there it is again. The pull towards him that I felt even when he was gone. 

……..Oh……great! Too Late! Sam’s there now hugging Cas too. Okay, I know that Sam and Cas are best buddies as well but give a guy a break. This is getting ridiculous.


	5. Purgatory 2.0

It’s been tense between Cas and I for a while. Loosing Mom and Jack was devastating, and I was angry at everything. Unfortunately, that anger was forced onto Cas for way longer then it needed to be. The guy had messed up, but it was unfair of me to hold a grudge that long. It was unfair of me to say those things to him. I hope I got that message across to him in my prayer. I don’t even know if he heard it. We’re stuck in this damn place looking for the damn leviathan blossom, who knows if I’ll ever even see him again. I forgot how much I truly despise this damned place. Damn I say damn a lot.

I glance down at my phone. Shit, we only have 3 minutes to get out of here. Right now, I know we’ve failed, but I need to find Cas. He doesn’t deserve to be stuck here again. I keep walking, keeping my gun up at the ready and eyes open. 

“Dean”, a voice suddenly says. 

“Cas?”, I question. 

We catch each other up on what happened after we got separated. I chuckle when he uses the word smushed. Never thought I’d hear an angel use the word ‘smushed’ to describe anything, let alone a leviathan blossom. 

“You did it. You did it Cas”. I’m overjoyed that we can finally get out of here. We’re all gonna be okay. Cas reminds me that there are still lots of things after us here, so we have to get a move on.  
This can’t wait any longer. 

“Wait Cas. Okay well there’s something I need to say.” I pause briefly. I’m still hesitant to tell him this. I know I said it in a prayer but it’s more personal now. 

“You don’t need to; I heard your prayer.” I’m kind of relieved I don’t have to go through that again as it was a very emotional thing to do, but I still need to say something extra. 

“It’s not just that though. I’m glad you heard my prayer, but I left something out as I wanted to say this in person. I need to look you in the eyes whilst saying this.”  
I know I’m rambling on a bit and Cas look quite befuddled, so I decide to just go for it.  
I hold his face gently and lean in. Our lips barely brush when the timer goes off. 

“OH CRAP”, I shout, and we sprint towards the exit. 

Too late for the kiss but at least not too late for the door.


	6. Goodbye Dean

*BANG* That’s all I can concentrate on. *BANG* That’s all I can hear. Death is coming for both of us and there’s nothing to be done. Jack and Sammy are on their own and I’m stuck. 

“Everybody’s going to die, and I can’t stop it. She’s gonna get through that door and she’s gonna kill you and then me. I’m sorry”

I feel so lost right now. I have never felt this helpless

“There is one thing she’s afraid off. There’s one thing strong enough to stop her” Cas explains.  
For a moment I allow myself to feel a glimmer of hope and it’s snuffed out straight away when he continues on. 

“When Jack was dying, I made a deal to save him” 

“You what” 

“The price was my life. When I experience a moment of true happiness the empty would be summoned and would take me forever” 

I’m so confused and hurt about all this that I can only ask, 

“Why are you telling me this now”

“I always wondered ever since I took that burden that curse, I’ve wondered what it could be. What my true happiness could look like. And I never found an answer. Because the one thing I want; it’s something I know I can’t have. I think I know; I think I know now that happiness isn’t in the having, it’s in the being, it’s about saying it."

“What are you talking about man”, I inquire. 

“I know how you see yourself Dean. It’s the same way our enemies see you. That you’re destructive, you’re angry, you’re broken, you’re daddy’s blunt instrument”. 

Wow Cas way to hit a nerve. 

“And you think that hate and anger is what drives you and it’s not. Everyone who knows you, see’s that it’s not true. You have done all these things good and bad for love. You raised your little brother for love and saved this entire world for love. That is who you are.” 

All I can ask myself is, why is Cas saying all this stuff. He’s still talking, and I can’t do anything but listen to this teary-eyed angel. My teary-eyed angel.

“You are the most caring man on earth the most selfless, loving human being that I will ever know. Ever since we met, ever since I pulled you out of hell, knowing you has changed me. Because you cared; I cared. I cared about you, I cared about Sam, I cared about Jack, but I cared about the whole world because of you. You’ve changed me Dean”

“Why does this sound like a goodbye”. 

I so want this to be a bad dream. I want this to be all in my head. I want Cas to be happy and not in tears. His words have caused my heart to be dangling by a thread. 

“Because it is.”

No no no no no no no. This can’t be it. Cas don’t you dare. Whatever you are about to say don’t sat it. Nothing is worth your life. I don’t care. 

“I love you.” 

And just like that my heart is in pieces. He’s taken the leap that I haven’t been able to in the countless years we have known each other. I’m in complete and utter shock. Come on Dean, say it back, just say it. It’s just three little words. Insignificant on their own and yet together you’re terrified of them.  
I turn and see the empty manifesting on the wall and Billie has finally broken in. I’m crying my eyes out right now and all Cas is doing is smiling. Why on earth is he smiling, my heart is breaking. 

“Goodbye Dean” 

“No!” I shout. “NO! Just No!”  
“Cas look at me. Don’t focus on the empty right now, focus on me”

I thank all that is good that The Empty hasn’t taken him yet and that Billie is staying put.  
I pull him in by his waist and wrap my arms around him. My lips touch his. Coy and soft. It’s not anything how our first kiss should have been. Both of us are tasting the sorrow of out tears.  
The last thing I feel is Cas’s lips mumbling ‘Goodbye Dean’ against mine before I’m suddenly pushed out of his hold and onto the floor. He quickly sends a smile down at me before both he and Billie are taken forever.  
I sit on the floor with my head in my hands as the last of The Empty disappears from the room. 

“I love you Cas” I whisper, but it’s too late. 

It’s far too late.


End file.
